You Resurrect From the Inside Out

I grew the new me beneath the old, my skin plump and taut like that of an overripe peach. Soon a phoenix will blet out of me. I press my fingertips against the tightness and feel my new self press back warmly.

I don’t remember when it started. Some time after the program. A lot of people who never had a problem are leery of the program but it works. I’m almost one years sober. You resurrect from the inside out. It starts small and grows. You have to let the dream inside, you have to let the hope inside of you, like a seed. It grows into your future.

This body is just a precursor to the next. This reality. The dream comes to me when I sleep, caressing the skin of my eardrums with its precious truth. There is a great tomorrow coming, believe me. The dream tells me so. It promises these things in my bones. The dream is a power higher than any others and it grows inside us all like the future. I never wake up hung over anymore. I never wake up tired or burdened or gutted empty. I never cry through my alarm begging other, lesser higher powers to thumb me from the earth. I never pray for everything to end anymore. The dream protects me.

I think that when it happens, it’ll be beautiful. I imagine my new life coming out of me like light gleaming down through a stained glass window. I am the picture of the prophet colored in the glass and the future, the dream, is the light burning through me and filling up the congregation. Reborn, I will stalk out of my unstitched skin as a purer, truer version of myself. I will be strong and safe and sober.

This isn’t like I’ve been given a second chance; I’ve been given a second chance. I’m being resurrected from the inside out. I swallowed the seed of my future and it’s growing me into a phoenix. The first step is to admit that you are powerless. There is no power higher than the dream. Let the dream resurrect you. Let it grow your future into a phoenix, strong and safe and sober.

A great tomorrow is coming, friend. Believe me. It’s filling up the congregation.